Three Years Ago Today....

Three years ago today I fell in love, again.  I am so lucky to have such a wonderful son.

I Knew I Love You

Savage Garden

Maybe it’s intuition

Some things you just don’t question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

And there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There’s just no rhyme or reason

Only this sense of completion

And in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I’m searching for

I think I’ve found my way home

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I’ve found you

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

Being a Mom

For so long motherhood was a dream that seemed so unattainable and so far away.  Frustration and sadness were feelings that I lived with daily.  Then adoption was the plan and that brought new purpose to our lives.  The paper chase was fast and furious with twists and turns that caused daily changes in how we were forming our family.  The buildup to an adoption is so different than pregnancy.  We don't have the growing belly, instead we have over three inches of paperwork with finger printing, visas, and LOIs to wait for, in addition to many uncertainties and little control. 
However, it was all worth it when we walked into room nine and saw Zachary in his playpen with his huge eyes staring right at us. For us, instant love.  The next six years were filled with joy and happines, soon it was time to go back to Karaganda.  I remember spending time with the babies and Don and I looked at each other, knowing in that instant that we were going to have another son.  Alex was so little, had beautiful blue eyes red from a cold, and a thumb that was forever in his mouth.  Who knew that our little guy would grow up to be such a ball of fire? 
Today I watch them and marvel at their growth.  Zack will be eleven!  He has such a great sense of humor and has embraced the moody preteen phase with all he's got;)  He loves music and is in a band with his buddies, rocking out to AC/DC and sitting at the "The Burnin' Rockers lunch table" with his buddies.  Alex, who will be four, has the energy and fire of I don't know what.  He plays, learns, and loves with abandon, throwing himself into everything he does.  He is smart, loving, and hits a baseball like it's his job!
I am sure that more of the adoption questions will come, as will the sadness; but I know that they will also understand that we moved heaven and earth to be their parents.  I couldn't imagine being the mom to anyone other than Zachary and Alexander.

Dirt and Blue Uniforms

My boys are growing up:)  Zachary received his blue uniform in Tae Kwon Do due to his committent and work ethic in class.  He was soooo excited and the cheesy grin says it all.  The boys have been so excited to play outside, and the pictures of Alex are from some great fire truck playing in the driveway.  What was funny was that he dragged dirt onto the driveway to use instead of playing in the sandbox.  Pretreat!

This spring also brings some great presentations by the adoption group that I belong to, Adoptive Families of the Capital Region.  Upcoming events include pesentations on ADHD and Adoption, Prospective Parents Group, and International Children's Day, besides playgroups and other weekend activities.  It is such a great resource for parents who have children that were adopted or are thinking of it as a way to form a future family.  I love that if I have adoption questions or just need to vent, I have a great group of friends to talk to.  My boys love going to the family events, and I am glad that the kids will have each other as they grow up and deal with the cirumstances of their adoption.  The link to our group is on the right, feel free to check us out!

Ups and Downs

This week has had it's ups and downs.  We ended last weekend with Zachary getting diagnosed with strep and staying home with mom on Monday.  The week continued with Cub Scout bowling, Tae Kwon Do, and lots of playing outside.  The scooters were taken out and Alex mowed the last of the snow for us;)  We have decided that we have gotten a taste of spring and won't be content until the daffodils are in bloom! 
Alex is recognizing letters from his name in everything that he sees and luckily he had another successful week potty training.  The boys got to spend some wonderful time with family on Saturday while mommy and daddy went out.  Alex got up Saturday morning and packed his bag, mind you they weren't leaving until after five.  You can imagine how well  Alex took that news.  Natalia and Anna wore my boys out as they were both snoring in the car on the way home.  Thank you Heather!!!!!  Sunday came and we went to Zachary's blue and gold dinner for Cub Scouts.  We had a vey nice time and Zachary got some pins that he earned.  In June he will cross over to become a Boy Scout, and I get to put all of those badges on yet another shirt;)

Master Lee Rocks!

Zachary passed his Tae Kwon Do belt test with flying colors!  Zachary tested for his yellow belt tonight and did a great job!!!!!!!  For an hour and half we watched as the infamous Master Lee (that's for you Christine;) put Zachary through his patterns and sparring.  He was so focused and loved every minute of it, especially when Master Lee gave him compliments as the testing progressed.  At the end of he testing Master Lee told me how awesome Zack is and how focused he is in class.  He loves it, and we are so proud of his dedication.

Alex is Alex and could not wait to try the moves when the test was over.  He is loving his big boy status and is rocking the big boy undies, telling all of Zack's friends of his new "attire".  Luckily, Zack has great friends and they all have congratulated  him.  To cute:)

2010 Begins!

It has been so long since I have updated this bog that I considered ending it.  However, both sets of granparents are now in Florida so I have decided to update it far more requently so they can see how the boys are doing. The Baldwins have been busy since I last posted.   Zachary is still very involved in Tae Kwon Do and loves his instructor, Master Lee.  Zachary also loves to tell me that even though Master Lee is shorter than me, he could kill me if he wanted to.  Luckily for me Master Lee's interest is in inspiring my son and not maiming his mother;)  Thursday night he will be tested for his yellow belt and hopefully he will get his blue uniform as well.  They make sure to send notes home periodically to commend Zachary on a great class and you can see Zack stand a little straighter when he reads them. 
Zack band, The Burnin' Rockers continue to perform and the boys get together frequently to practice for their next gig, which I am afraid is Zack's birthday party;)  Their new material is comprised of AC/DC songs, some Bon Jovi, and an original compilation called "Silver Sword" (in which every person has a five minute solo, so you can imagine how that goes).  Second quarter was a great one for Zack and he is again an A student with a wonderful comment about his musical talent.  My good friend's husband plays guitar and is amazed how Zach can pick apart songs and play so well.  Zack does love that captive audience;)
My little imp, Alex is growing by leaps and bounds.  The pediatrician is so happy with his progress and growth and we are sooooo happy that potty training is almost finished:)  Alex learns so much at daycare and besides the ABCs, colors and such, Alex can sing the chorus to "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap".  Do you see a theme??? 
Every morning when Alex first wakes up, we let him lay in bed and he calls for us when he's ready (otherwise we have a very cranky boy on our hands).  Getting in and out of bed is not a problem for Alex, but for some reason he will not get up until we open his door (thank God for small favors).  For the last week we have gone to Alex's room in the morning and have walked in to see Alex laying on his bed, with his bed completely made, and a huge smile on his face. I love to tease Zachary that his three year old brother makes his bed neater (and faster) than he does:)
The New Year brings so many things for us.  We have already celebrated Chinese New Year, enjoyed the Russian Winter Festival, and are gearing up for Easter, Kaz's Spring Celebration, and most important, the days that we met and adopted our sons. 
So often I find myself looking at my wonderful sons and feeling so lucky to be able to be their mom.  I think of all that their birth parents have had to sacrifice in order to give their sons a better life.  I wonder what their lives would have been like; relationsv  hips, schooling, language.  So many diferences, but at heart I know that they would be the same loveable boys that they are today.  For that, I am so blessed and thankful.
Enjoy the random pictures of the boys and our loved ones.

Christmas is coming!

Holiday season is in full swing and so far we have enjoyed the Christmas parade, Christmas tree hunting, and visiting Holiday Lights.  We loved watching Zachary earn his white and yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do.  I have watched Zack in class, but you can't hear anything with the door shut.  His teacher, Master Lee, is such an incredible teacher.  You could see how the kids responded to him as he praised, taught, and congratulated them.  I am so glad that Zack wanted to join as I think it has done great things for his confidence.

Today was our first snowday and we had a great day.  We all enjoyed time outside and had a rousing snowball fight, with both boys having incredibly good aim.  A small but quite adorable snowman was built (thanks Aunt Louise for the snowman kit all those years ago) and hot chocolate was enjoyed by all.  We ended the night with decorating a gingerbread train and making snickerdoodles; a relaxing day it was not:)  But, a very fun one none the less.

I love watching how Zack and Alex grow and change.  Alex is so taken by the wonder of the season and jumps with excitement at every commercial and Christmas special.  He races to every destination and copies everything that Zack does, telling me he's a big boy.  Zack on the other hand, has the swagger that I dare say he was born with.  He still love his Star Wars, but AC/DC is up there as well.  We are going to a school play next week where Zachary is the lead-Scrooge.  The British accent is alive and well in our home and Zack is practicing his lines like a pro.  Though he is cool 5th grader by day, I look forward to our bedtime ritual of Zack and I reading our bedtime books to Alex.  Special times.